She is in my trunk
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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