I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
please come you make the beer taste better
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
