i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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