Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
