Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
