She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
