i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
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Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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