the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
