No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
