Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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