a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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