escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
