You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
