I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
