sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
