It was confusing and full of hummus
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
MIDGETS
????
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
