He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
