i don't like sucking hair
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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