**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
