I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Randomize
