you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
