what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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