HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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