I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
