You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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