fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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