he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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