Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
