two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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