Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
