Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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