Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
