PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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