Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
