found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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