hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
