I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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