I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
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He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
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DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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