the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
