I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
