I'm really into asian looking animals
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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