That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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