i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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