i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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