I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize