my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
