I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
