is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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