I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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