**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
her facebook's as public as her vagina
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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