After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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