I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
