is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
