Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
