actually, I'm a sock model
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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