can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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