I think my vagina is haunted
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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