Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
