And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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